Truth as I see it

 I pour myself out on this blog and talk about my journey and I do not want to duplicate my posts so let me just say I am continuing to try and improve my health and am serious about my weight loss. I am in a weight transitions class and am using an app on my phone that makes keeping track of what I eat super easy. I am using alternative forms of medication for my pain and it is helping so much. I am using my scooter much more if I can or my walker when I can't.  I was able to visit one of the places where I have been the happiest and carefree and it was like a big warm hug. Reconnecting with a sweet friend was so much fun. You can go back and feel the love again. Missing people I love comes daily but I am choosing to focus on the amazing things they are doing with their lives.  My love is strong enough to span any distance. My prayers are continuous. Lord, there were so many blessings last year and I am truly grateful for each one. On September 25th I was pr...

As I look at this time of thanksgiving I can't help but feel less than who I want to be for a moment, but with a progressive disease I know all too well, next year I may be unable to do some of the hings I am doing this year. So being thankful at this time of year for what I can do and for the blessings I do have is so important for my spirit. It takes more effort to forge through than to sit in self pity but if you keep at it soon it becomes a habit.  None of this is possible without my faith and God's blessings.  Is life perfect? No.  Do I have everything I want? No.  But with Him I have everything I need. Being thankful - I am not perfect at it and sometimes I work at it harder some days than others but I do know being thankful fills my heart with joy and takes my focus off of me. It brightens my mood and gives me energy.   This is last year when just the 2 of us this year we will have 8! I would have never guessed we would have company t...

                I sure would love to hear from some readers. Let me know how this post was received by you in the comments at the bottom. Thanks! September among other things, is Charcot Marie Tooth Awareness month . I have two tabs on the top of this page that can explain CMT and who discovered it. For this year I want to talk about what CMT is to me. CMT, I have had it all my life and yet it continues to present me with new challenges. I am 55 and I still try to ignore it and on a good day almost get away with it. When I over do it my joints ache and throb with pain. I have learned to adapt, evolved I suppose, in to a creature that is determined to be resilient. My arms are very weak now. I was trying to strengthen them but it only made things worse . My feet are turning in more and at night the pain from the calf muscles makes it hard to sleep. My body wants to curl in to a ball, it's tempt...

Such an excellent post by my friend Kim at Grace is Sufficient Making decisions . I printed this nugget and will put it in my office to be a reminder. Yesterday was one of those valley days for me and if I had been pressed to make a decision it would not have been a good one. Sometimes we just need to ask for time and we need to pray. Prayer always helps to calm me and remind me I have a God that is greater than my pain and my bad day. He will work all things out for His glory! Kim is also doing a book club on "Choose Joy" written by Sarah Frankl - a christian woman with chronic illnes and Mary Carvers. I have never done a book club before but after reading her posts I am getting the book. Father you are amazing how you use others to give us your blessings. I want to lift Kim up to you today and ask to ease her burden and give her rest. She is such a precious friend to me and I appreciates that she uses some of her valuable time to reach out to others. Lord let this post t...

Last week was one of the best we have had since we came here. My energy level was high we did a  lot of fun things including seeing turtles surfing in the waves! It will be one of my favorites ever but this week has brought pain and weakness and financial worries. When I was able to work as a nurse I made really good money and it is so frustrating to me that I can no longer contribute financially. I feel guilty, frustrated and overwhelmed as always.   I know all my husband really wants is for me to be happy and enjoy as much of life as I can. So why do I fall back in to being angry. The enemy has a stronghold here in my life and I earnestly praying against it. I need to stay positive and keep counting my blessings. I need to have faith in God to improve our finances. I need to take a day off and physically rest when I need to. The enemy has stolen enough from me in my life I am making it my Job to see he doesn't get any more! If you can think of any scripture or quotes...

Today I am thinking about the book my daughter told suggested to me   "One Thousand Gifts " and how much it helped change my attitude at the time. Lately I have had a hard time expressing gratitude but I truly am grateful for so much. We have a solid roof over us, plenty of food and a nice car I love to drive. We live in the most beautiful place on earth and I am constantly reminded of Gods grace and power in my life. I have an awesome family and lots of love. Depression is one of the most common complications of chronic illness. It's estimated that up to one-third of people with a serious medical condition have symptoms of depression.I certainly struggle though I have come to a place of acceptance with my physical illness's CMT, fibromyalgia and interstitial cystitis. It is simpler than I thought it could ever be mostly because I have been willing to seek God in this and have let go of some anger, frustration, and disappointment. I also have an excellent ...

In my post Exhaustion on my other blog I prayed for God's help and for some reprieve from all that was coming at me. I surrendered to His will and desires. Then, my husband called with an injury at work! What! This is not an answer to prayer I thought. But maybe it was sort of. Having my husband home even with his hurt left hand was HUGE. He was there to help me get dressed, bathe, make food etc. and great company. I had been trying to get along by myself and that was a big part of the frustration I was feeling. Amazing how having more help and fewer struggles changed my attitude. This had made me think about my attitude in general and how it is fueled positively by less challenges and negatively by frustration something I need to be  more aware of in the future. I have had more PTSD triggering because of my arm but handled it a little easier with less exhaustion. I have been using my self talk and breathing - visualization exercises to keep me from the trauma an...