Truth as I see it

Such an excellent post by my friend Kim at Grace is Sufficient Making decisions . I printed this nugget and will put it in my office to be a reminder. Yesterday was one of those valley days for me and if I had been pressed to make a decision it would not have been a good one. Sometimes we just need to ask for time and we need to pray. Prayer always helps to calm me and remind me I have a God that is greater than my pain and my bad day. He will work all things out for His glory! Kim is also doing a book club on "Choose Joy" written by Sarah Frankl - a christian woman with chronic illnes and Mary Carvers. I have never done a book club before but after reading her posts I am getting the book. Father you are amazing how you use others to give us your blessings. I want to lift Kim up to you today and ask to ease her burden and give her rest. She is such a precious friend to me and I appreciates that she uses some of her valuable time to reach out to others. Lord let this post t...

"Your not believing for Gods healing" It really sucks when other christians assume your blessing or healing has not come because your faith is not strong enough. I have prayed for healing and expected healing to come from the Lord.  I am still believing God for healing and if the healing comes in death and being in Paradise free from this body, I will gladly take it.  I will be restored by His Grace and His love when it is time, until then I just need to trust Him to get through each day. If you are hurting or in need of encouragement read some scripture. Find something that speaks to you, encourages you. He loves you so much and longs to answer your prayers. Father we know you have plans for us, not to hurt us and we are trusting you Lord for your Grace and compassion. Hear us Father when it hurts to move in bed and we cry out for you, hear us Lord in our despair. I do believe in the healing power of Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit. May it be so. Amen

In my post Exhaustion on my other blog I prayed for God's help and for some reprieve from all that was coming at me. I surrendered to His will and desires. Then, my husband called with an injury at work! What! This is not an answer to prayer I thought. But maybe it was sort of. Having my husband home even with his hurt left hand was HUGE. He was there to help me get dressed, bathe, make food etc. and great company. I had been trying to get along by myself and that was a big part of the frustration I was feeling. Amazing how having more help and fewer struggles changed my attitude. This had made me think about my attitude in general and how it is fueled positively by less challenges and negatively by frustration something I need to be  more aware of in the future. I have had more PTSD triggering because of my arm but handled it a little easier with less exhaustion. I have been using my self talk and breathing - visualization exercises to keep me from the trauma an...

YES! Yes! Yes! The movie Exodus is spectacular and I connected with Moses shaking his fist at God questioning Him. I understand that and because of doing it my faith has deepened so much. He can handle your emotions He created them! "This blog will focus on faith, depression, surviving and hope. I talk to God openly and for some it may seem irreverent or disrespectful but He already knows your thoughts so why not speak them out loud! I do know that God is good and my faith holds my life together. "-From my profile. I cried on the passover scene so grateful to be saved by the blood of the Lamb Jesus Christ. This movie is an amazing account of Moses and closer to bible. I strongly encourage you to see this in the theater. Lord I am so full of love and appreciation for you and your sacrifice. You alone have freed us from bondage and set our spirits free. I am in awe of the immensity of your love for us! Praise be to God! Help others to see this film and be inspired by...

I am feeling a bit overwhelmed this week from health issues and I am beginning to wonder if I will ever be healthy again? I was thinking about the condition I was in 7 years ago when I stopped working as a nurse so that I would not be as tired and to get healthier. Neither of those 2 things have happened. In fact it I would love to be in the condition I was in 7 years ago and as badly as I feel now I wonder will I be saying the same thing in another 7 years? Will I wish then to be as healthy/unhealthy as I am now? It is hard for me to believe being much more unhealthy than I am now is livable. I know there are many of you you who suffer from all kinds of ailments and chronic disease's that can attest to having the same thoughts. I am not trying be a downer just stating how I feel today. My only hope comes from knowing my destiny is in Gods hands and however long or no matter how much suffering I have on this earth I know I will be in a new body and well in Heaven. There is a tr...

So, is it validation when your therapist is astounded that you are actually dealing with so much or just comical? I know it is her job to support me and to show compassion but she is genuinely shocked. When I told her this whole arm injury experience pales in compassion to the urinary issues she actually had tears. Sometimes I do minimize my challenges because I have had so many and if I focus too long on how much I have to deal with, it can be overwhelming. I am pretty tired of this brace because it is so heavy and uncomfortable and as the clock would attest hard to sleep in. Writing at least gives purpose to lost sleep. I have been following a blog by Laurie Edwards and then ordered her book " Life Disrupted " and it has been such a blessing for me right now. It is empowering and insightful for anyone with chronic illness. I can't recommend it highly enough. She lays out the diagnostic process and how frustrating it can be as well as gives incredible ideas on dealin...

Cant’s! I am so sick of cant’s! Can’t do this can’t do that! I want a long list of things I Can do! The most recent can’t came yesterday when my hubs and I went to check out a beach where a group called Beach Dance meets. Moving, dancing on the sand is so much safer for me because the sand is forgiving both with movement and if I fall. The idea of spending an hour dancing with others and enjoying time on the beach was so enticing for me. Well Boo! The beach is inaccessible to me. It involves a ¼ mile hike over uneven ground and around lava boulders, which will shred you if you fall on them. On a positive note if you come visit me I will tell you where this beach is! So I am on to the Can Do list. Actually I am making it in to a Want To Do list because that is more empowering. Not a bucket list but things I can do on a regular basis. I could have completed the hike yesterday against my husbands advice and probably been injured maybe even needed a helicopter evacuation to ...

Another comedian admits to depression. Wayne Brady gave an interview and really opened up. It just goes to show how many people hide their depression and even enough to work making other people laugh. Sad. I certainly put on my smile for others but I don't have to do it to make a living. I always found it easier to feel "up" when I worked because I was focusing on other people.The more celebrities that share openly the better it will be for all of us. Depression can be part of a normal  grieving process with any loss, it can be biological or the affect of PTSD. You can't just decide to be happy if you have clinical depression. You have to work at it through therapy, educating yourself, lifestyle, diet and sometimes pharmaceutical aid. I have a brain that was permanently affected by severe trauma and I have learned to look at the meds as a positive and be grateful for them. An earlier post PTSD Facebook Page talks about how they can now see on an MRI...

The precise meaning of chronic is "persisting for a long time", and it is used chiefly of illnesses or other problems. If you are chronically ill chances are you are operating at max capacity every day. I know I am and have been for the last 26 years. I feel like the child’s game where you try to fill the bucket with out it spilling over and when it does the game is done. I feel like if I get one more thing medically to deal with – game over. Today I had to yell at a nurse over the phone, to get the help I needed. This should never happen! One of the reasons I went in to nursing was to make a difference, to actually care about and help people. Patch Adams one of my all time favorite movies touches on this and is an example of what I am talking about. When I worked at a hospital a patient with nausea and vomiting requested lime Jell-O and his nurse did not order it so I asked why and she said he would just vomit it back up. Since there was no medical reason he coul...

After some input and prayer I have decided to split my blog in to two different blogs. This blog will continue to deal with chronic illness and faith and my other blog will be focused on PTSD and healing. The link is http://healingtakesalifetime.blogspot.com/ Thank you- Mauigirl

                             It never ceases to fascinate me how God works. No sooner have I started this blog than have I been in conversation with people who are suffering from depression or chronic illness. “We need a voice, someone to speak the truth”, a reader told me. Please know I am not a professional mental health worker and I am only sharing my thoughts and experiences. You should always contact a doctor or a therapist if you are feeling like taking your own life. Dr. Oz said on his show today that telling someone you have thought of suicide is the most important thing. Even if you are admitted to a healthcare facility it is possible that during that time your perception of life will change enough to give you hope and hope changes everything. I also want to introduce the idea to you the idea that taking your life may result in a se...