Suicide is not an option

                           

It never ceases to fascinate me how God works. No sooner have I started this blog than have I been in conversation with people who are suffering from depression or chronic illness. “We need a voice, someone to speak the truth”, a reader told me. Please know I am not a professional mental health worker and I am only sharing my thoughts and experiences. You should always contact a doctor or a therapist if you are feeling like taking your own life.

Dr. Oz said on his show today that telling someone you have thought of suicide is the most important thing. Even if you are admitted to a healthcare facility it is possible that during that time your perception of life will change enough to give you hope and hope changes everything.

I also want to introduce the idea to you the idea that taking your life may result in a separation from God forever and that to me is Hell. The movie “What dreams may come” ironically with Robin Williams, in part explores this theory. There may be a space between life and death where we can repent of our sin of trying to play God (suicide) or giving in to desperation but, what if there isn't? The thought of being forever in that darkness rather than relieved from it is enough to keep me from taking my life. I know scripture tells us we will have a new body in heaven and I am counting on it.

Do not consider suicide an option. The pain will be gone completely one day. I trust in that. I have Fibromyalgia and it is triggered by barometric pressure changes. When storms roll in or just high pressure my body is in gut wrenching pain. After the storm passes I am so grateful. I am learning how to deal with it. I use the Spoon Theory, rest, stretch etc. Sometimes I just take the day off snuggle with my dog and watch movies.

Find something that shines light in to the darkness,that for you is a life preserver to keep you afloat until the deep darkness passes. Something that is not dependent on a friend or loved ones words or actions because that is too much responsibility for anyone. Find a scripture, music, food, place, or maybe even a “timeout” like a weekend in a scrumptious spa because isn’t that part of what we are looking for, a break from our life and our daily selves? A break from pretending to be okay might be all we need. It can be a regular session with a therapist or support group. If those things are not working look outside of your normal life and find something you haven’t tried yet.

Get through the next hour, then the next 6 and then 6 more it may be all it takes to get past the dark overwhelming cloud.

 

 I do find volunteering or taking classes helps give me enough of a boost to feel inspired. If nothing else pray- talk to God. Cry out your heartache and ask for healing, forgiveness, reconciliation or closure. Whatever the source of your darkness, know that He loves you and His love is enough. During the last four months every illness or health issue I have had has prevented me from leaving the house, kept me in bed much of the time, which has been incredibly frustrating and discouraging. In that time I kept hearing God’s voice (along with my niece’s) “write”. So here I am writing in hopes of helping even just one other person, perhaps you. In reading this you have helped me, thank you.

Lord I promise to rely on you when I feel I can't go on and to have enough faith that the moment of darkness I may be feeling will pass. I promise to wait for your leading and work at being healthy until you call me home. I want to serve you and I am willing. Lord I want to trust you and your word in the hardest struggles please help me. Amen

 

Don't make permanent decisions based on temporary feelings........... hang on!