Truth as I see it

In July I was feeling tired probably from my trip to Colorado I told myself. Having CMT carries the danger of blaming any health related symptom on the CMT. Also because of CMT I have pushed myself hard my entire life. The kind of pushing a runner does to get through the marathon, beyond what your body tells you is  possible. This is not compatible with low thyroid however. So as we began the preparations to move I was pushing myself. I increasingly became more and more exhausted.  We were in the house just a few days and I had on of the worst UTI's I have ever had. The pain went away with medication but I was flat. All of the life sucked out of me. I returned to the doctor's office insisting that there was something else wrong with me. "are you depressed? It could be the fibromyalgia" were the comments I received from a doctor I had not ever seen before. Blood tests don't lie and are not usually subjective so I insisted on some. There was something wrong- low ...

The following is a letter  I wrote to my family about 3 weeks ago. I genuinely just wanted to be real with them and didn't want them to be taken off guard if my condition worsened. Now they are all upset with me so I guess it wasn't a good idea? I find myself writing to the unknown and countless souls in the world who may, like me, just need to talk. Also to those who like me, believe in a God the creator with whom I feel confidant can handle my anger with love and grace. Friends and family I have been through a major health crisis this last week and I am now embarrassed to say was hoping I would not get better. I am tired and really fed up with this poor excuse of a body God gave me. I have tried to hold on for so many reasons for so long but it just keeps getting harder. I have been a little hopeless and that leads down a deep dark hole for me. Then my kidneys st arted to fail and I thought this really could be it. I prayed that God would heal me. N...