Truth as I see it

 I pour myself out on this blog and talk about my journey and I do not want to duplicate my posts so let me just say I am continuing to try and improve my health and am serious about my weight loss. I am in a weight transitions class and am using an app on my phone that makes keeping track of what I eat super easy. I am using alternative forms of medication for my pain and it is helping so much. I am using my scooter much more if I can or my walker when I can't.  I was able to visit one of the places where I have been the happiest and carefree and it was like a big warm hug. Reconnecting with a sweet friend was so much fun. You can go back and feel the love again. Missing people I love comes daily but I am choosing to focus on the amazing things they are doing with their lives.  My love is strong enough to span any distance. My prayers are continuous. Lord, there were so many blessings last year and I am truly grateful for each one. On September 25th I was pr...

As I look at this time of thanksgiving I can't help but feel less than who I want to be for a moment, but with a progressive disease I know all too well, next year I may be unable to do some of the hings I am doing this year. So being thankful at this time of year for what I can do and for the blessings I do have is so important for my spirit. It takes more effort to forge through than to sit in self pity but if you keep at it soon it becomes a habit.  None of this is possible without my faith and God's blessings.  Is life perfect? No.  Do I have everything I want? No.  But with Him I have everything I need. Being thankful - I am not perfect at it and sometimes I work at it harder some days than others but I do know being thankful fills my heart with joy and takes my focus off of me. It brightens my mood and gives me energy.   This is last year when just the 2 of us this year we will have 8! I would have never guessed we would have company t...

I have had too much going on physically. I am overwhelmed and I have been trying to be strong not just for me but for everyone else. Today during a therapy session I touched back to my childhood and revealed where it all started------- In a hospital getting poked and prodded. Having my privacy invaded and ignored. It started when I was being told " be a big girl, don't cry, be strong". It was my mothers voice.  My experience started in 1964 and that seems like a million years ago if you look at today's medical environments. There were visiting hours and lots of rules. There were wards rather than rooms and a very cold sterile environment. Procedures were not explained to me I was told what to do but not what to expect. When I was eight I had both an upper and lower GI. The x-ray attendant was unkind and impatient which resulted in quite a mess. It just gets worse but now the picture is painted. I think we all look for something we have control over in experiences...