Truth as I see it

 I pour myself out on this blog and talk about my journey and I do not want to duplicate my posts so let me just say I am continuing to try and improve my health and am serious about my weight loss. I am in a weight transitions class and am using an app on my phone that makes keeping track of what I eat super easy. I am using alternative forms of medication for my pain and it is helping so much. I am using my scooter much more if I can or my walker when I can't.  I was able to visit one of the places where I have been the happiest and carefree and it was like a big warm hug. Reconnecting with a sweet friend was so much fun. You can go back and feel the love again. Missing people I love comes daily but I am choosing to focus on the amazing things they are doing with their lives.  My love is strong enough to span any distance. My prayers are continuous. Lord, there were so many blessings last year and I am truly grateful for each one. On September 25th I was pr...

The following is a letter  I wrote to my family about 3 weeks ago. I genuinely just wanted to be real with them and didn't want them to be taken off guard if my condition worsened. Now they are all upset with me so I guess it wasn't a good idea? I find myself writing to the unknown and countless souls in the world who may, like me, just need to talk. Also to those who like me, believe in a God the creator with whom I feel confidant can handle my anger with love and grace. Friends and family I have been through a major health crisis this last week and I am now embarrassed to say was hoping I would not get better. I am tired and really fed up with this poor excuse of a body God gave me. I have tried to hold on for so many reasons for so long but it just keeps getting harder. I have been a little hopeless and that leads down a deep dark hole for me. Then my kidneys st arted to fail and I thought this really could be it. I prayed that God would heal me. N...