Truth as I see it

Can't believe it's time for double fives already! Starting a few white hairs coming though so no denying it. This last year has been another one full of change, acceptance and growth. Wouldn't want things to get boring! All in all it has been a year full of good memories and time well spent. I love Jesus even more than I ever have.  Michael and I are in a good place, a little bumped and bruised but happy and healing. My kids are living healthy happy lives with good people in them. I officially retired from nursing and am just grateful to have done it as long as I did. My favorite past time is coloring. I have been coloring to relax and bring calm in to my life for a long time.It is a positive memory from my childhood and comforts me. Now that adult coloring is popular I have more choices of what to color. I really like gel pens they make it easier on  my wrist. I pray for the person I am making the picture for while I am coloring, so it serves a greater purpose. ...

  Lord on days like today with sharp pain in my body, I wonder where you are? Most people have one illness or injury to deal with and for me you keep allowing  more. Yesterday was a beautiful day spent with my husband and on the island. Everything seemed perfect, but by the end of the day the pain in my hip/back started. I should look at yesterday as a gift I suppose but my desire is for many more days like that - many. Help my attitude Lord change my heart. When I start to question why it gets me in trouble emotionally. My upbringing included the Catholic church which at that time, focused a lot on the sins and suffering from them. I only went to Catholic church until I was about 13 but some of those messages get ingrained in to your psyche so deep that I catch my self asking for your forgiveness Lord when I am in pain or having difficulty. The truth is I am already forgiven and the price for my sins is paid though the conversations of prayer with you are al...

Lord thank you for your patience with me I am undeserving but grateful . My husband just bought me a brand new box of 64 Crayola Crayons and if you  know me at all you know how thrilled I am! Color, coloring, creating, wonderful. When I am need of nurturing coloring connects me to my mother who was such a good nurturer. She would sit and color with me in the hospital and at home when I was sick. A brand new box of crayons is a world of possibilities and is so much fun to open. Each crayon perfect and waiting to be used. I hope God sees me this way not perfect but willing to be used by Him. Charcot-Marie -Tooth my chronic disease is not usually the cause for my pain. Overdoing it and when I am physically tired can cause pain. I get cramps or sore muscles but overdoing it for me can be simple things like pulling weeds for 10 minutes or walking without my AFO"s for too long. The horrible, awful, burning, aching allover  (don't want to live) pain is from fibromyalgia and sin...

Read the article and let me know what you think- Written by Anne Patchett Finding Joy in My Father's Death  This is my opinion- Honesty - so refreshing. I get it. I worked hospice as a nurse for many years and I have had a father almost die several times, when he actually did die it was a comfort to know he was free from pain. I have also taken care of a beloved aunt doing what I could to make sure she died in her own bed the way she wanted to. And I have mostly felt accomplished, relieved and joy. Yes joy because I do believe in God and I know this is not the final destination. I now face many health problems of my own and have had several real conversations with my family on what is NOT to happen if I should be unable to speak for myself. Death is simply a transition and often the end of suffering as it was with her father.  My husband plans on being happy for me whenever I go and it makes me smile! Lord help us to know that death however it may come is the...

Last week was one of the best we have had since we came here. My energy level was high we did a  lot of fun things including seeing turtles surfing in the waves! It will be one of my favorites ever but this week has brought pain and weakness and financial worries. When I was able to work as a nurse I made really good money and it is so frustrating to me that I can no longer contribute financially. I feel guilty, frustrated and overwhelmed as always.   I know all my husband really wants is for me to be happy and enjoy as much of life as I can. So why do I fall back in to being angry. The enemy has a stronghold here in my life and I earnestly praying against it. I need to stay positive and keep counting my blessings. I need to have faith in God to improve our finances. I need to take a day off and physically rest when I need to. The enemy has stolen enough from me in my life I am making it my Job to see he doesn't get any more! If you can think of any scripture or quotes...

Cant’s! I am so sick of cant’s! Can’t do this can’t do that! I want a long list of things I Can do! The most recent can’t came yesterday when my hubs and I went to check out a beach where a group called Beach Dance meets. Moving, dancing on the sand is so much safer for me because the sand is forgiving both with movement and if I fall. The idea of spending an hour dancing with others and enjoying time on the beach was so enticing for me. Well Boo! The beach is inaccessible to me. It involves a ¼ mile hike over uneven ground and around lava boulders, which will shred you if you fall on them. On a positive note if you come visit me I will tell you where this beach is! So I am on to the Can Do list. Actually I am making it in to a Want To Do list because that is more empowering. Not a bucket list but things I can do on a regular basis. I could have completed the hike yesterday against my husbands advice and probably been injured maybe even needed a helicopter evacuation to ...