Truth as I see it

By the time I warm up to my birthday it's over .♡ I usually make an inventory list on my birthday of what I have learned or reaffirmed in the last year mostly because I want to be the wise old woman everyone listens to. I can't believe it's been a year tomorrow that we have been here! So here is my wisdom list - Things I have learned or affirmed Having dreams come true is amazing but there is always a price to pay Gecko tails come off if you grab them but they grow back It does get a little chilly in Hawaii at night after you have been here awhile Walking on a boat without my AFO's is no longer an option Having my dog almost die really shook me up - never saw that coming Investing in someone else's dream might be the defining moment in your relationship Losing my vision was the scariest thing to happen this year Telling people I would be happy to live in a studio apartment on Maui may not have been realistic but we are making it work Wri...

Today I am thinking about the book my daughter told suggested to me   "One Thousand Gifts " and how much it helped change my attitude at the time. Lately I have had a hard time expressing gratitude but I truly am grateful for so much. We have a solid roof over us, plenty of food and a nice car I love to drive. We live in the most beautiful place on earth and I am constantly reminded of Gods grace and power in my life. I have an awesome family and lots of love. Depression is one of the most common complications of chronic illness. It's estimated that up to one-third of people with a serious medical condition have symptoms of depression.I certainly struggle though I have come to a place of acceptance with my physical illness's CMT, fibromyalgia and interstitial cystitis. It is simpler than I thought it could ever be mostly because I have been willing to seek God in this and have let go of some anger, frustration, and disappointment. I also have an excellent ...

In my post Exhaustion on my other blog I prayed for God's help and for some reprieve from all that was coming at me. I surrendered to His will and desires. Then, my husband called with an injury at work! What! This is not an answer to prayer I thought. But maybe it was sort of. Having my husband home even with his hurt left hand was HUGE. He was there to help me get dressed, bathe, make food etc. and great company. I had been trying to get along by myself and that was a big part of the frustration I was feeling. Amazing how having more help and fewer struggles changed my attitude. This had made me think about my attitude in general and how it is fueled positively by less challenges and negatively by frustration something I need to be  more aware of in the future. I have had more PTSD triggering because of my arm but handled it a little easier with less exhaustion. I have been using my self talk and breathing - visualization exercises to keep me from the trauma an...

What a year you have led me through Lord! Major move leaving loved ones and a life we knew for paradise and hopefully an opportunity to serve you and be healthier. 362 days later - I certainly have learned that no matter what, God is in it. I miss people but I do not miss Colorado. We have been blessed in so many ways with jobs,cars and places to live. There is less physical pain overall but this last year has been my sickest ever . It's almost as if everything that has been bottled up inside from stressful circumstances has oozed out of my body in the form of one infection or another or injury. My CMT has progressed a lot this year and I am starting to look realistically at the future. My faith has been pushed to the edge but it has been the one constant this last year. I am thankful for my online support groups and for opportunities to help others. I am also thankful for the new people you have brought by way of blog, book or from my health care team. I have asked many of th...

Feeling low energy but still so inspired by a book I have been reading, "Life Disrupted" by Laurie Edwards that I am going to quote her book here instead of writing a longer post myself. Most o f these thoughts are not new to us but it is somehow comforting and empowering to have them written down. Laurie's writing really speaks to chronic illness situations and solutions. I am so blessed to have found her book by way of her blog . It was one of those nights my fibromyalgia was in a frenzy and even though I was exhausted there was no sleep to be had and I googled chronic illness blogs hoping to find one and actually found a ton. When I read her words I was captured and instantly became a fan. Now that I have her first book I am reading it slowly to soak it in and hopefully cement in to my experience. It is my pleasure to share more of it here with you. "The line to adapting to physical problems and ignoring them is precariously thin.-  "In our sickest mom...

After several tests and doctor visits I have a few new diagnosis to add to my list- Arthritis in several joints and interstitial cystitis which explains why I feel like I have a UTI when I don't. Today I am feeling great and grateful to have a strong team of doctors caring for me. My elbow is healing faster than expected and I am grateful for that. I am a fiercely independent person combined with a progressive diseases - CMT and others it becomes a balancing act of resilience, strength, surrender and acceptance. I am not a negative person but I am finding the need to become more realistic. I hope and pray that my husband can stick with me through this as I fight every inch of the way. Sometimes we look at using aids such as walkers or chairs as losing the battle but if they are keeping us mobile and independent ya! I need to keep that kind of attitude as I continue on this journey. When I do get a scooter I will be happy. Maybe it's the season but I am feeling much m...

YES! Yes! Yes! The movie Exodus is spectacular and I connected with Moses shaking his fist at God questioning Him. I understand that and because of doing it my faith has deepened so much. He can handle your emotions He created them! "This blog will focus on faith, depression, surviving and hope. I talk to God openly and for some it may seem irreverent or disrespectful but He already knows your thoughts so why not speak them out loud! I do know that God is good and my faith holds my life together. "-From my profile. I cried on the passover scene so grateful to be saved by the blood of the Lamb Jesus Christ. This movie is an amazing account of Moses and closer to bible. I strongly encourage you to see this in the theater. Lord I am so full of love and appreciation for you and your sacrifice. You alone have freed us from bondage and set our spirits free. I am in awe of the immensity of your love for us! Praise be to God! Help others to see this film and be inspired by...