Truth as I see it

Had a very interesting experience last night. After seeing a podiatrist about my ankle we saw a man waiting for a cab with his foot wrapped and he looked discouraged. He asked us for a ride to the other medical facility 1/2 mile away, that seems so far when your unable to move yourself. It took us less than 5 minutes to take him. Turns out he was injured riding a motorcycle and it almost severed his foot. Here I am fighting for an amputation and he is fighting to save his foot. I know the issues don't line up but the thread of having a foot that doesn't work do.We both want to be pain free and as mobile as possible. I almost felt guilty for my perspective but reminded myself that he has not been dealing with this pain and foot issue for very long. Mine has been 25 years now. Not as bad as it currently is but repeated attempts to "fix" it have failed. I long for the day it is not attached to my body and other CMT'ers speak the same and are encouraging." It isn...

repost from last year- Merry Christmas everyone!!!!!!!!!!! After several tests and doctor visits I have a few new diagnosis to add to my list- Arthritis in several joints and interstitial cystitis which explains why I feel like I have a UTI when I don't. Today I am feeling great and grateful to have a strong team of doctors caring for me. My elbow is healing faster than expected and I am grateful for that. I am a fiercely independent person combined with a progressive diseases - CMT and others it becomes a balancing act of resilience, strength, surrender and acceptance. I am not a negative person but I am finding the need to become more realistic. I hope and pray that my husband can stick with me through this as I fight every inch of the way. Sometimes we look at using aids such as walkers or chairs as losing the battle but if they are keeping us mobile and independent ya! I need to keep that kind of attitude as I continue on this journey. When I do get a...

Today was a genuinely rare showing of kindness and compassion from  my ortho doc here concerning my hip also my well being and quality of life. We talked for 15 mins and came up with a plan that gives me a sense of relief and tiny bit of hope. When a doctor can take just a few minutes with a person to brainstorm and answer questions it can take away so much anxiety, it has changed my whole outlook! I feel cared for, validated and important. I also felt heard which is so precious to me. This was a really great thing for me right now. Thank you Lord for giving me the ability to discuss my situation with my doctor and for keeping me unemotional so that I could speak clearly. Thank you for bringing this doctor in to my life. I pray for your continued guidance and provision for my needs. Amen

I hesitate to share this kind of day because I know there are some struggling with even more than I am. It is truth though and that is what I committed to when I started this blog. Just hear God's voice and promises in your life and believe in Him no matter what. Where are you Lord? The road ahead is not clear and it seems uphill. I haven't the energy to travel it alone. I am not even sure I can make it with you carrying me.    Inner strength-blog  I am so exhausted and feel like I am inside a fish bowl watching life go on with out me. The doctors are overwhelmed by me how can I expect them not to be? My body is screaming from the inside. Yet if I were given a choice that I could be healed of pain or of exhaustion it would hands down be exhaustion. I can ignore the pain better if I am up and about or can I? I have persevered through all kinds of pain my whole life. Lord do I have to choose? Can it be both? I look to you- Whitney Houston I keep focusing on ...

In July I was feeling tired probably from my trip to Colorado I told myself. Having CMT carries the danger of blaming any health related symptom on the CMT. Also because of CMT I have pushed myself hard my entire life. The kind of pushing a runner does to get through the marathon, beyond what your body tells you is  possible. This is not compatible with low thyroid however. So as we began the preparations to move I was pushing myself. I increasingly became more and more exhausted.  We were in the house just a few days and I had on of the worst UTI's I have ever had. The pain went away with medication but I was flat. All of the life sucked out of me. I returned to the doctor's office insisting that there was something else wrong with me. "are you depressed? It could be the fibromyalgia" were the comments I received from a doctor I had not ever seen before. Blood tests don't lie and are not usually subjective so I insisted on some. There was something wrong- low ...

  My Mother had this and kept it in her bible. I had a plaque with the last verses in my house that my daughter now has. It has become a legacy to be lived and shared. I know it to be true in my life as some of my greatest triumphs have followed the darkest days. If you need encouragement copy this use it and pass it on. Healing really does take a lifetime and it can start today. Don't Quit When things go wrong, as they sometimes will, When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,   When funds are low and the debts are high, And you want to smile but you have to sigh, When care is pressing you down a bit, Rest if you must, but don't you quit. Life is queer with its twists and turns, As every one of us sometimes learns, And many a failure turns about, When he might have won if he'd stuck it out. Don't give up, though the pace seems slow - You may succeed with another blow. Often the goal is nearer than It seems to a ...

"Your not believing for Gods healing" It really sucks when other christians assume your blessing or healing has not come because your faith is not strong enough. I have prayed for healing and expected healing to come from the Lord.  I am still believing God for healing and if the healing comes in death and being in Paradise free from this body, I will gladly take it.  I will be restored by His Grace and His love when it is time, until then I just need to trust Him to get through each day. If you are hurting or in need of encouragement read some scripture. Find something that speaks to you, encourages you. He loves you so much and longs to answer your prayers. Father we know you have plans for us, not to hurt us and we are trusting you Lord for your Grace and compassion. Hear us Father when it hurts to move in bed and we cry out for you, hear us Lord in our despair. I do believe in the healing power of Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit. May it be so. Amen