Saturday, February 28, 2015

NY Times Article

Read the article and let me know what you think- Written by Anne Patchett

Finding Joy in My Father's Death

 This is my opinion-
Honesty - so refreshing. I get it. I worked hospice as a nurse for many years and I have had a father almost die several times, when he actually did die it was a comfort to know he was free from pain. I have also taken care of a beloved aunt doing what I could to make sure she died in her own bed the way she wanted to. And I have mostly felt accomplished, relieved and joy. Yes joy because I do believe in God and I know this is not the final destination. I now face many health problems of my own and have had several real conversations with my family on what is NOT to happen if I should be unable to speak for myself. Death is simply a transition and often the end of suffering as it was with her father.  My husband plans on being happy for me whenever I go and it makes me smile!
Lord help us to know that death however it may come is the passageway to your heaven and to remember for those that are are suffering it is even more amazing because there is no pain. Although we will miss our friends and loved ones it will not be long until we are together forever.Amen.

Monday, February 23, 2015


I am handicapped- there I said it! It is a reality I must come to terms with. I believe it will it make my life easier. I stopped hiding my CMT when I quit my last job and met Bernadette online and saw her videos. But not hiding it and identifying yourself as handicapped are two different things. I am scheduled for physical therapy next week and will get some advice of which device would help me to walk on sand and also identify me as handicapped. I am over fifty and it is much easier to address this issue now. I have lost most of my vanity and youthful exuberance and wearing AFO's for the last few years with shorts and skirts has also helped. The problem is with weak arms and injured right elbow and wrist I am not sure what suggestions they will have. I am open to whatever works at this point.

Pick a new coping skill to work on!

When you are chronically ill there are always obstacles to overcome and levels of physical challenges to deal with. For me the last several years have been a steady decline possibly due in part to taking Cipro for UTI's and sinus infections. As it turns out Cipro has a class action lawsuit against it. Google it and find the issues. The main one for me is that it can cause peripheral nerve damage which the CMT already does and it did not need any help! I had been taking Cipro 4-5 times a year for the past 6 years before I learned about this. I can blame my doctors but I won't. I can blame the manufacturer but I don't. I am a little miffed at the scientists who were sitting on this information hoping it would not be an issue. The last time I took it was August of last year. I am hoping I will not see any further decline now that I am not adding to it by taking an antibiotic. Before this my CMT advancement was so slight I could hardily notice.

With CMT one of the problems is that there are muscles that don't get get used because the nerves can not communicate with them. So I need to be structured on my end doing stretching and swimming, a little lite exercising. I have had increasing times of fatigue probably from fibromyalgia, so it is easy to nest in my recliner and put off the things I need to do. During these times of fatigue the days can melt together and before I know it the week has gone by. Balance is what it is all about constantly trying to find the balance. Knowing when to push myself and when to hold back is constant.

I also need to have  purpose and volunteering one afternoon at the Whale Sanctuary has been great. I am on my feet a lot talking to people about whales which I love to do and I just need to allow a day to recover. As the season winds down I am told so will the interest and there will be fewer visitors. After failing at some previous attempts to volunteer here it is important to me that I succeed in this.

I have learned so much from other bloggers on these issues and appreciate their work. I encourage you to visit them.Here is on of my favorites Seeking the Still. We gain wisdom by seeing the world through other people's eyes. We also increase our compassion and compassion helps us to focus on others instead of ourselves which helps the depression we can get. Your symptoms are valid and important but when you obsess about them your world shrinks. Keep it large and full of people who you can pray for and write a note of encouragement to. People who are just being diagnosed and are on a steep learning curve that you can help. We are here for relationship, to each other and to God. Listen,learn teach. This week I was gifted a song which touched my heart in ways I can not explain and it came from the blog above  Keep making me.
Even when I am nested in my recliner I spend a lot of time in prayer. Prayer encourages me on a day when I have otherwise been unproductive at least I have taken time for prayer.

Lord today is a good day for you have given it to me. Help me to use it for your glory and for others who need you. I do so love you Jesus and want you to be the center of my life instead of me. Help me to replace myself with your word and promises. You are such a gift in my life. Amen.

Monday, February 16, 2015

Trauma Blog

I have finished the third chapter of my trauma story it is a good feeling to have it done. I am not sure why the spirit pushed me to do it but I feel a great sense of peace now. If you have not read the first two chapters go here-…/my-trauma-story…

The third part to the story can be found here-…/part-iii-of-my-…

Monday, February 9, 2015

Fighting the fight!

Last week was one of the best we have had since we came here. My energy level was high we did a  lot of fun things including seeing turtles surfing in the waves! It will be one of my favorites ever but this week has brought pain and weakness and financial worries. When I was able to work as a nurse I made really good money and it is so frustrating to me that I can no longer contribute financially. I feel guilty, frustrated and overwhelmed as always.

I know all my husband really wants is for me to be happy and enjoy as much of life as I can. So why do I fall back in to being angry. The enemy has a stronghold here in my life and I earnestly praying against it. I need to stay positive and keep counting my blessings. I need to have faith in God to improve our finances. I need to take a day off and physically rest when I need to. The enemy has stolen enough from me in my life I am making it my Job to see he doesn't get any more! If you can think of any scripture or quotes to send me I would love it.

Thank you Lord for reminding me that I am yours. In the comfort of your arms I lay my head to rest and pray that I can serve you tomorrow better than today. Amen!