Wednesday, September 24, 2014
It's the nights that are hardest for me. My husband is asleep and I am chicken to go to the beach by myself and tv just makes matters worse. I just want to sleep. The CPAP machine seems to help when I can wear it -(trauma related Healing takes a lifetime). Why can't I feel as tired at 9pm as I feel at 9am? My nerves are on fire and my muscles ache. I worry about what tomorrow will bring. Lord I know this is not the life you have for me and sometimes that makes it even more frustrating. I am tired of this battle. What must I do to be past it? Have mercy on my mind and remove this burden or at least give me rest. You are an all powerful God and my hope rests in your grace and goodness. Help me to trust you more Lord, in all things. To trust your timing, your reasons, and your promises. Please take this loneliness away that the enemy attempts to confuse me with. I am not alone as long as I am in your arms and blessed by your goodness. Lord help me to separate emotions and reality and to know that I know, that I know, you are in control. Bind the enemy from my mind tonight and give me peace oh God. Respite and time away from the battle. Peace.