Yep a full blown melt down just a few days after reassuring my psych doc I am doing fine- well not actually fine I told her but "I have hope things will improve".
That's what I have lost, my hope.
My neighbor was just told she has 3-4 months and I am angry. Why can't it be me I am asking God? I am ready to be out of here. Sure there have been blessings and precious moments in the last six months but there has also been so much pain and disappointment.
I am tired of missing things , of breaking plans, of watching my life from my window like a fish in a bowl. I can't walk on the beach. I can't go see a movie, two simple quiet things I love to do and was looking forward to. Nope! Can't have it! Just more restrictions, more limits, less life.
Wow! What a complainer I am turning in to! I haven't always been this way. I am just worn down right now physically and emotionally. I have had enough needles, tests and misdiagnosis. We all get to this place it is the proverbial fall down 7 times get up 8 but I don't want to get up- that's the problem.